Dr. Skatterbrainz Answers Reader Mail

Warning: The following text may contain adult-ish offensive language which may cause unwanted side effects.  Read at your own risk.

“I was just wondering what you think about going into IT consulting for someone who’s never done it before, but who’s been working in IT direct for about ten years?” – Brad

It’s not for everyone, but some really enjoy it.  It also depends on whether you’re working from home/remote or on-site mostly.  If you’re used to being in a room full of people and a bustling office environment, then switch to being alone all the time, even with online communication tools, it’s sometimes lonely.  If you have pets or someone at home to talk to it helps, otherwise you should get outside frequently and mix with other people.  Coffee shop, park, etc.  It also requires you to impose your own control over scheduling, sleep, eating, exercise, etc.

If you prefer keeping hands-on with things after you build them, it might be tough letting go of each project and moving on to the next.  If you like having a steady office environment, that too may be a tough adjustment.  If you don’t like traveling a lot, or meeting strangers and getting used to strange places, accents, rules, customs, and so on, it may be a tough adjustment.

Other things to consider are how well you adjust to working alone, or with different teams from one day/week/month to the next, as opposed to being with the same group of people for months/years.

I would suggest that if you’re really curious/interested in consulting to give it a try.  You will be exposed to more variety and more ideas than you typically get with a steady office role.  But, no matter how it turns out, it will still be more experience, and more experience is good no matter what (as long as it doesn’t kill you or leave you brain-damaged). And you may get to rack up lots of flyer miles and hotel rewards points.

“Why do CIOs so often turn down requests from their own IT staff to improve tools and processes?” – Jim

Because most technical people suck at communicating things in terms of money.  Remember that old book “Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars”?.  CxO’s like numbers and charts.  The more colors and spiffiness (I made that term up) the better.  The situations where I’ve seen (or done by myself) a proposal laid out in terms of what it will provide in terms of the following, it got a positive result:

  • Cost savings
  • New revenue (not always welcome, unless it’s in a core competency)
  • Added capability (e.g. competitive advantage)

Any idea you have to improve things needs to be distilled down to what “improve” really means.  Improves what?  How?  For whom?  Keep walking that question back until it comes to a dollar figure.  And one other aspect I find that helps is to focus more on the repeat financial benefit, rather than a one-time benefit.  A simple one-time cost-savings doesn’t usually get them excited enough to set down the Martini and whip out the credit card, but a pay-off that keeps getting better every quarter/year is hard to ignore.  In the end, if you have to fluff the numbers to make it work, you need to ask yourself if you really have the best idea.  If it really makes sense you shouldn’t need to oversell it, but make sure you present it in the language the suit-clad folks really love to hear.

“Some of my siblings and cousins have a condescending view of the IT profession.  They’re all lawyers and marketing people, but somehow think IT is like dishwashing.  What’s the best thing I can do for that?” – Charles

Hi Charles.  I can completely sympathize.  I have a few of those people in my family as well.  You can either hold a grudge, or let it go. I prefer to let it go.  Time is your most valuable asset.  Don’t waste it.  The time you would spend on debating them could be better used on learning new skills or finding more projects to grow your experience.  Changing someone’s mind about things is almost impossible without proper firearms and pharmaceuticals.

“I’ve seen you pick on Microsoft Access a few times.  What do you hate about it?” – Chris

I don’t hate Access itself.  It’s a great product, especially for small scale needs.  But it’s not built for large-scale, shared use, and it couples the application (forms, reports, logic) with the data (tables, views, etc.) which doesn’t scale or lend itself to flexible maintenance.  It’s also very dependent on the version of Office installed, so upgrading the rest of Office then becomes hostage to it.

The other issue is that shared-use problems often lead to proliferation of multiple, standalone copies throughout the enterprise.  Maintaining consistency and centralized reporting becomes increasingly difficult.

Then when IT wants (or needs) to roll out a new version of Office, it turns into “Now hold on a minute!  That’ll break our precious Access DB ‘application’!”   The longer the Access app remains in production, the more intrinsic it becomes to business operations, making it more sensitive to disruption.  And the longer is remains in production, the more likely staff will have quit/retired/died/joined a cult, whatever, and now nobody is left who knows how to maintain or modify the code.

This often leads to the following discussion playbook scenarios, complete with the eye-rolling, mumbling, and drooling package…

Version 1

IT: “You guys in Finance need to upgrade this Access thing of yours so it works with 2016!”

Finance guys: “The guy who wrote it left months/years ago and we don’t have anyone who can update it”

IT: “Not our problem. Make it happen.”

Finance guys: “Then fuck you.”

Version 2

IT: “You guys in Finance need to upgrade this Access thing of yours so it works with 2016!”

Finance guys: “Okay, but since this is YOUR requirement, then IT should pay for all that work.”

IT: “No!”

Finance guys: “Then fuck you.”

Version 3

IT: “You guys in Finance need to upgrade this Access thing of yours so it works with 2016!”

Finance guys: “Okay, but we don’t have anyone who can do it due to schedules and other work.  Can IT do it for us?”

IT: “No!”

Finance guys: “Then fuck you.”

Version 4

IT: “You guys in Finance need to…”

Finance guys: “Just fuck you.”

Then we break for lunch, listen to IT complain about how <insert department name here> are a bunch of a-holes to work with.  We come back to the office, fighting off the carb-coma sleep monster, and repeat the same discussions again.  Someone will suggest the usual workarounds…

  • “Let’s install the Access runtime for 2007 or 2010 along with Access 2016!”
    • “Adding more complexity to our environment is not the answer.”
  • “Move it to Citrix or RDS!”
    • Citrix/RDS guy: “No!  I need funding to buy more hardware.”
  • “Let’s App-V or ThinApp it!”
    • “Carl – Do YOU know how to sequence that?”
      • “Ummm no.  But I hear it’s really cool.”
    • “You thought Justin Bieber was cool.”
      • “What’s wrong with Justin?!”
    • (continues on until some smacks the table to break it up)
  • “Let’s rent an unmarked van and kidnap that old guy that wrote this!”
    • “I have $53 on me.  Can we rent one that cheap?”
      • “I have duct tape, maybe a gift card too, hold on…”

In the end, the most expensive, least efficient and most painful “solution” will be chosen and everyone will be unhappy.  After a few months they will have left for other jobs and a new staff will be looking at it, wash rinse and repeat.  Or, in some cases, they hire someone to rewrite the app using modern tools that support shared use, are easy to maintain and even move to the cloud.

“I’d like to use Chocolatey at my company, but management won’t allow it and won’t pay for the business version.  Can I still leverage pieces of it somehow?” – Larry

There are several things you can “leverage” without using the public repository, or buying the business license features.

  • Set up an internal repository.  If there’s no objection to internal sourcing of packages.
  • Crack open Chocolatey packages for the silent installation and configuration syntax to use elsewhere.  Scripts, SCCM, etc.
  • Apply for a new job elsewhere.

Option 1 – Setting up an internal repo…

  1. Read this – https://chocolatey.org/docs/how-to-host-feed
  2. Test, test, and test some more
  3. Pilot deployment
  4. Production domination and ultimate anihilation

Option 2 – Cracking open a warm one…

  1. Locate the desired package (e.g. Microsoft Teams desktop app)
  2. Click on the “Package source” link along the left (opens the Github repo)
  3. Inspect the .nuspec file for some general details
  4. Inspect the xxxinstall.ps1 file for the code and tasty stuff
  5. Copy / adapt when you can into whatever else you’re using


  • If you intend to “keep up” with the latest releases of a given package, you may need to repeat the above steps, or monitor the vendor source location(s) to react as they post new versions.
  • If you want to expand on this, you can post your own packages with internal modification requirements (icacls, registry hacks, etc.) as needed, or adapt them into your own deployment scripts or task sequences.


Send more questions via Twitter DM.  If you follow me, and your account doesn’t smell like a bot, or a weird cats-for-kids black market thing, then I will usually follow you back.


Forking the Road

I know three people who will know immediately what the image above means, before reading any of this.  But I have a glass of Merlot staring me in the face, so I’m legally required to say more.

So, I’ve been blogging since 1842, but that was on Blogger, and it was coal-powered with stone fonts and wooden templates. Publishing articles meant pulling a cast iron handle, and waiting by the fireplace until someone invented a computer.  Then the punch cards were carefully placed on a horse wagon and taken to the steam-powered Internet.  Those were hard times indeed.

Seriously, I think I started blogging around 2004 or 2005, but I didn’t really stick with it until 2008. The Blogger era for me was a time while I transitioned from CAD programming, coffee spilling and shit-talking, into Microsoft infrastructure, coffee spilling and more shit-talking.

I had actually been wearing both hats for a few years prior, but officially it was around 2004 when I left CAD entirely. I wrote a few books on Autodesk things up until 2011 and a final rock through the windshield around 2015 and then I left it for good.  In 2014, I moved the blog to WordPress, for two reasons: Blogger wasn’t adding any new features or responding to feature requests (still true today), and WordPress just sounded like a cool name.  I also read a biography of Matt Mullenweg, and he sounded kind of cool, so I figured why not.

There were other blog attempts over the years, like The Code Mine, Scriptzilla and so on.  Every now and then someone will walk up to me and remind me about one I completely forgot.  Imagine what kids today will look back on when they’re in their 70’s or 80’s.  We had over-the-air TV, phone booths, smoking allowed everywhere, and real wall-mounted phones with cords.  Cars were made of steel, and the remains of drivers and passengers were hosed off after each accident and the car was like new again.

Anyhow, so, 2014.  That was three years ago. Soon to be four.  In dog years, that would be 21 years.  In computing time, it’s like 150 years.

It started as a means of self-induced mental therapy and venting.  I wanted to share my daily thoughts about things I encountered at work as an IT consultant (former employer at the time).  At times I had to adjust the timing to work around projects, travel, and so on, but I tried to make at least once per week minimum.  I pretty much kept that routine up until now.

I met with an attorney friend of mine, early on, to discuss the ramifications of my idea.  He listened intently, and said “although it will be impossible for you, I would strongly recommend you do it anonymously”.  He was right.  He’s pinged me a few times to remind me about keeping names, places and dates anonymous, and I’ve tried to do that.  “Don’t leak your real name.” he said once.  Ummmm.  Well, about that….

It’s been really fun at times, and I’ve received a lot of great email, tweets and so on.  I got to meet some really awesome people at conferences, like at TechEd 2011, 2012, and Ignite 2016 and 2017.  It’s also been interesting how many email messages I get where people mention other Twitter accounts and blogs that seem to be following the same genre of mixing humor with techno-babble.  That’s cool too, but I can’t take any credit for that.  I’m not that influential, nor do I wish to be.


  • 2000 – shifting away from CAD to Microsoft
  • 2004 – changed job roles, turned 40, started blogging
  • 2006 – joined Facebook
  • 2007 – joined Twitter
  • 2008 – joined the unemployed (for a few months)
  • 2010 – back to consulting
  • 2013 – ugh…
  • 2014 – moved blog to WordPress
  • 2015 – turned 50, turned into a 7-Eleven soon after
  • 2015 – another job/career change
  • 2017 – lots of travel
  • 2018 – ____________

Another aspect to the blog and my Twitter account has been how it helped me recover from a very bad 2013-2014.  That was a period I hope to leave behind as a distant memory.  I’m happy to say that I haven’t had any more major issues since then, and my brain tumor has remained benign to this day, even though the annual MRI drains my bank by around $800.  So, if you own stock in any big medical insurance or pharmaceutical companies, you’re welcome.

Still, in spite of all those fun ambulance rides, and the giddiness of needle pokes, I got to blabber away about techy things and joke about goofy things people say and do, with an occasional detour into something serious, all of which helped get my mind back into a brighter place.

Along the way, I tried some wacky ideas, from interviews, to cartoons, to serial-projects, and goofball satires.  Some of it was well received, some not.

But now I think I need a break from it.

I’m not killing the blog or anything, at least not yet.  I just need to step away from it for a while and see how it plays out.  If I get a strong urge to write some more,  I’ll pour some gas in and start it back up.

My plan for now is to let this be the last blog post, for now, but not forever.  And continue on Twitter, but less intrusively.  I may engage with people a bit, but not as annoyingly (I hope).  Think of it as an early Christmas gift.  In any case, I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy whatever religious or semi-religious event you observe, and a very Happy New Year.  Here’s to 2018 – may it be a good year for you and everyone you know.

Here’s some pics from 2014 to now.  Scattered through places and time, like me.  …



Random Stuff, Part 42

Between work, studying, tinkering and trying to have something close to being considered “a life”, I haven’t been blogging much lately.  And every time I get close to having that magical, mythical thing called “a life”, I have to travel.  I can’t complain, since it gives me new perspectives on “life”, which help me to feel like I have “a life”.

And speaking of travel, here’s a cheap diagrammatic view of how I roll (literally, since my suitcase does in fact have wheels)…


This is just the backpack.  I also didn’t include tampons, whips, chains, hand grenades, latex gloves, surgical masks, or bags of unmarked pills.  Those tend to slow me down with TSA, and I’d rather they spend most of their time with their hands around my privates.  If I touch myself in public it looks unsettling, but when they do it for me, it’s professionalism at its best, and they love it when I smile during the procedure.

Speaking of TSA, I’ve found that the passive aggressive score follows the scale of the airport, at least in the U.S.  Meaning, the bigger the airport, the less humor they tolerate.  The friendliest bunch I’ve encountered would be Medford, Oregon (MFR), and the other end of the scale would be Boston (BOS).  I love Boston.  The TSA have a consistent and warm way of welcoming travelers to bean town with that glaring “I’ll stomp your face in if you make eye contact for more than 5 seconds!”

I’ve also been updating some PowerShell-related projects.  I have always maintained personal project time to keep my sanity.  It also makes my dog want my attention more.  She leaves me little gifts to express how much she misses my attention.  And at 95 lbs, the size of those gifts can almost clog the toilet.

Here’s a few examples of what too much caffeine, too much vlog watching, and access to PowerPoint will do to someone like me, a latent marketing student.  I’m just kidding, I would’ve gone into statistics as a “statistician” but it’s too difficult to pronounce after 3 or 4 beers, and the pay doesn’t come close to most IT related jobs.






They almost look professional.  And almost as if I know what I’m doing.  Cooked up with only a frying pan, a little butter, some chunks of PowerPoint and sprinkled with Paint.Net.  All four took a whopping hour to create.  The pencil was the most fun.  I highly recommend the shape tools (Boolean stuff, like Union, Subtract, etc.), you can spend hours immersed in that strange world, forgetting to shave and bathe too.

You can find the rest of this exciting stuff at https://www.powershellgallery.com/profiles/skatterbrainz/ – where I publish things I almost know how to do.  CMBuild is still in beta, so if you get really, really, reeeeeeally bored, and you have a lab environment in which to try things like this – feel free to post angry, hurtful, mocking and demoralizing comments and bug reports.  The more condescending the better. My doctor enjoys this too.  The visits for medication help his kids through another semester at medical school, and I don’t want to let him down.


I forgot to mention that MFR, while being a very small airport, also has some really nice artwork on the walls around baggage claim…


Approaching Norfolk (ORF), the most dynamic and interesting place for underpaid IT professionals…


Leaving San Fran (SFO).  The most dynamic and interesting place for well-paid IT professionals who can’t afford to live there…


Getting ready to board my next flight.  I have the window seat just behind the wing…


Back in my office…


Technical Stuff

In the past month, I’ve been dunked into projects involving a variety of different beatings, I mean challenges.

  • 2 involving MDT+Windows 10 with distributed/replicated MDT deployment shares.  One using DFS and the other using Nasuni, for the replication service.  Both worked out very well.
  • 2 involving Office 365 ProPlus.  One mixing C2R Office with MSI Visio and Project.  The other mixing C2R Office using O365/AzureAD licensing, with C2R Visio/Project using KMS licensing.  Neither was that difficult, but I did come away with a continued wonder and amazement at how something so simple (C2R deployments) could be left half-baked by Microsoft and nobody seems to care.
  • 3 involving Configuration Manager.  1 focused on SUP strategies for servers.  1 focused on being a crying shoulder for an overloaded admin and under-give-a-shit managers.  1 focused on replacing some horrific mess some other (independent) consultant attempted while in between binges of drinking and glue sniffing.

The rest of the time has been Azure, Intune, O365, PowerShell, PowerShell with Azure AD, PowerShell with Intune, PowerShell with System Center, System Center with PowerShell, PowerShell with PowerShell, and a little bit of PowerShell. I’d think by now I’d know something about PowerShell, but I’m not going to pat myself on the back just yet.

User Groups

Our geographic region seems to have very few IT-related user groups with regards to the population of professionals.  We do have a few, such as groups for Docker, SQL Server, .NET, Machine Learning/AI, and a few others.  So, I’ve been trying once again (third time) to get a Microsoft-related group off the ground.  And I’m happy to say it’s actually starting to get off the ground!  It’s called Hampton Roads Cloud Users Group.  “HRCloudGroup” on Slack, and Facebook.

For those not familiar with this interesting little area, it’s officially comprised of 7 cities in the southeastern corner of Virginia, at the North Carolina border.  Mouth of the Chesapeake Bay.  But the actual list of surround municipalities include Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Portsmouth, Chesapeake, Hampton, Newport News, Williamsburg, Yorktown, Suffolk, Surry, and Smithfield.  There’s also a large number of people who commute from North Carolina to jobs in this area, so it extends beyond Virginia.

Some call it “Tidewater”, which is a stupid name.  Some call it “Hampton Roads”, which is a less stupid name.  Some call it “that shitty place I hated being stationed at while in the Navy/Marines/Air Force/Army/Coast Guard/CIA/FBI/NSA/DEA/NATO…” eh, you get the idea.  I would venture to say it is the most militarized area of land in the United States, maybe in the world.  Every branch of military, intelligence, logistics, special operations, tactical operations, is located within a small enough radius to be a ridiculously appealing target for Russian satellites.  My house, is under the flight path between Little Creek JEB (SEAL team 6 or DEVGRU), Fort Story and Oceana NAS.  I can name the fighter jet, cargo plane, or helicopter models by sound alone. I just haven’t found a way to earn a living doing that yet.

Enough Rambo talk. Our group is still very small, at about a dozen members, with about 4 or 5 people attending the monthly meet-ups so far, we’ve been fortunate to get some very skilled, very creative members, so I couldn’t be happier.  I feel like my role is more of a facilitator than a leader.  The others have way more experience than I at this point, so I’m happy to just connect the wires and keep the engine running, and learn what I can along the way.  We’ve only had 2 meet-ups so far, but I’m optimistic.  Our next one is December 14, 2017 at 6pm.  If you live in the area, hit us up.


As if the entire blog post isn’t already “miscellaneous”.  Shit, my whole life is “miscellaneous” when I get down to it.  But who’s complaining? Okay, I do from time to time.  Anyhow, shotgun blast…

  • PlatyPS is cool.  Once you remember to actually put comments in the right places and import the module before running New-MarkdownHelp for fifth time and cursing at the monitor for not reading my my mind.
  • Carbon is still cool.  Even cooler.
  • The Tesla semi is freaking awesome.  The Roadster is obviously cool as well.  I can afford neither.
  • I had my first MSATA failure today.  A Lite On 256 GB card in my HP Elitebook.  RIP.  It was nice having you while you lasted.
  • Shout out to Whitner’s BBQ in Virginia Beach.  Still the best I’ve had anywhere I’ve traveled, and it’s right in my backyard.
  • Shout out to the group of kids who yelled across the busy street “I like your chocolate dog!!”  She loved it too.
  • I need fish food for the aquarium.  Off to the stores on a Saturday.  Wish me luck.

Chocolate dog.  Aka “Dory”


Random Thoughts and Stuff

While packing for travel I was having a conversation around the “state of IT” with a friend. So I figured (A) it might be worth jotting down some of the key points, and (B) do it before I fly out, in case some underpaid mechanic forgets to tighten that one bolt that holds the engine onto the wing.  Actually, who am I kidding, that mechanic probably earns more than I do.  Anyhow…

this is rambling, so drink plenty of medication and smoke your wine before continuing.

(travel-packing sidenote: Oreo is 15 years old, and like most humans, used to hate my guts.  Eventually, as daughter number 3 moved out, and I became her sole source of attention and food, she has become my friend.  She follows me around all day.  Every time she sees my suitcase out the night before I travel, she does this.  I’ll need to go over that ball cap with a ball of tape in the morning.)

The Future of SCCM and MDT and EMS

This is admittedly a Microsoft-centric topic. The discussion mentioned above was about “how long” will SCCM and MDT be “of interest” to consumers?  Obviously, I do not own a real crystal ball.  I only have a Dollar Tree knock-off, and I don’t have access to real business data, therefore I rely upon what scientists often refer to as ‘shit talking‘.

I’ll admit, after day 1 at MS Ignite this year, I was feeling the angst.  For example, while riding the bus back from the conference center to the hotel, staring out the window, I kept thinking “why, why, why did I leave app-dev to move into this infrastructure rat race?!  wtf was I thinking?!” and “I hope my dog isn’t chewing up my last pair of flip flops right now.”  It really felt like the job market for anyone walking around a typical IT shop today, would be dried up to around 10% of that volume within 5 years.  And who really knows?  It could go in any direction.  I think everyone is in agreement that there is already a major tectonic shift in play, with traditional operations moving into software-defined operations.  The thought of learning things like JSON, Git, VSTS, on top of PowerShell and Azure, is adding wrinkles to quite a few faces I see.

The mere mention of “new certs” is probably having a measurable effect on the sales of alcohol, tobacco and firearms, which should keep these guys employed for a long time.  For many I’ve known over the years, the feeling is like being shoved onto a rollercoaster by your drunk buddies, against your will, and now you’re approaching the top of the first peak in the run.

After 3 more days, and soaking up session content, food, beer, and more importantly: engaging vendors in deep discussions out on the expo floor, my initial expectations of SCCM/MDT doom were relaxed quite a bit.  Mainly out of realizing the following points:

  • The majority of imaging work I see being done at most mid-sized and large customers is refresh of existing hardware.  The mix of new vs. reuse is cyclical at most larger shops, due to budget cycles and SLA’s about hardware refresh programs.  So at various times in a given year, there’s more new imaging, but for the remainder of the year it seems to be more refresh/reuse.
  • Most of the (above) people I’ve spoken with are very interested in AutoPilot, but quite a few hadn’t yet been allowed access to the preview at the time I spoke with them (I think most are now seeing it in their portals)
  • In-place upgrades are still a minority (far too low in my opinion)
  • The description of “automatic redeployment” got their attention, but most are still tied to the comfort of a “clean wipe and load” for various reasons.
  • Ultimately: Regardless of what anyone says, things which “work” have a very VERY tough time dying in the IT world.  Hence why so many machines still run XP.  I’d also wager my tombstone that Windows 7 will easy to find running on machines in 2027.  That’s because I’m planning to be cremated on a Walmart grill.  But that’s beside the point.

The weeks after Ignite I’ve made it a point to casually interview my customers to get a feel for where they see the biggest and most immediate changes coming.  It’s a delicate thing to ask, since it can easily smell like a sales pitch.  Sales pitches have a distinct odor that is often confused with bus station toilets or dead cows laying in the sun.  However, most of them are well aware of my dislike for sales people in general (some of my friends are in sales, so there are exceptions).

  • The biggest hurdles they have today are keeping up with device models and drivers, patching, moving to some new system for IT operations (ticketing, change mgt, etc.), and endless training of each new-hire who is replacing three who just left.  See what I did there?
  • The single biggest complaint about imaging in general revolves around drivers.
  • There’s still quite a bit of frustration and confusion I hear around Intune capabilities.  Some is related to Intune agent vs. agentless, management; Some is around app deployment capabilities; Some is inventory reporting.

Windows 10

I still spend way too much time explaining Windows 10 servicing models and the naming convention.  They were just starting to grasp CB, and CBB, but now “Semi-Annual” and “Semi-Annual Targeted” are leaving them in one of two modes: pissed off or chuckling.  The most common response I hear from the former is around the constant renaming of things in general.  “Active, Live, Visual, and now CBB, then Semi Annual Targeted, WUS, then WSUS”, and so on.  Their words, not mine.

I’m always surprised to find so many shops still heavily invested in MDT and doing very well with it.  The other interesting thing is that the majority of them assume they’re doing everything wrong and are panicked when I arrive that I’ll redline their papers.  In fact, most of them are doing very well.  They’ve read the blogs, the tweets, bought the books, watched the videos, done the TechNet labs, and so on.  A few have been lucky enough to attend training and/or conferences as well, but that’s a very small percentage.

The pace at which organizations are getting their Windows 10 rollouts moving is gaining speed and volume.  However, the Office aspect has thrown a wrench into quite a few (see below)


This reminded me of a discussion I had at Ignite with the Office team on the expo floor.  It was around the issue of third-party extensions (add-ons) for Office, and how many are produced by small shops which do not stay current with Office versions.  The result I’ve continued to see is a fair amount of shops who can’t upgrade Office until the third-party vendor puts out an update or a new version.  Then there’s the cost factor (is it free or not?).  In many of those cases, the hold-up triggered the IT department to wait on other projects such as Windows 10.

The number of Access applications interfering with Office upgrades has dropped significantly for me in the past 3 years.  Not just the projects I’m working on, but also from reports I get from other engineers and customers.  That’s a good thing.

Controls vs. Controls

I’m still seeing a continued reliance on inefficient control mechanisms with regards to device and user configuration management.  Way too much effort put into the imaging side, and not enough on the environment side.  Way too much on the “nice to have” side, vs. the “gotta have” side.  Not enough attention is being paid to ‘baseline’ and ‘continuous’ control models, and when to use which one, and how best to apply tools for each.  For example, hours and hours spent on wallpaper, shortcuts, and folders in the imaging process, being manually adjusted with each update cycle, rather than letting Group Policy Preferences step in and mop that shit up with one hand.

I’ve had fairly good results convincing customers to drop the continuous meddling with reference images, instead, (at least trying to)…

  • Change the data storage process to keep users from storing anything valuable on their device
  • Remove as many non-critical configuration controls as possible
  • Move continuous controls to the environment (GPO)
  • Move baseline controls to the environment wherever possible (GPP)
  • Move remaining baseline controls to task sequence steps

There are obviously exceptions that require mucking with the install.wim to make a new .wim, but I’m finding that’s only REALLY necessary in a small percentage of the time.  The vast majority of controls I see are voluntary and serve little functional or operational benefit.  Things like hiding Edge, Forcing IE, hiding Cortana, forcing Start Menu and Taskbar items, etc.  Just educate users to avoid them.  Treat them like adults and who knows, maybe they’ll stop urinating on your office chair.  Try it and see.  The worst you’ll get is whining (you get that anyway), but the best (and most likely) outcome is less work for you and less risk of something breaking.

Role and Salary Compression

It not only continues to thrive, it seems to be accelerating its pace.  Almost every customer I meet tells me how they’re expected to do more with fewer people, less training, less budget, and shorter time constraints.  Most haven’t had a significant raise in a long time.  This seems more prevalent at companies which are publicly-traded than those which are not, but it affects both.  Personally, I see a correlation with public organizations and cost reduction priorities over innovation and revenue increase.  Then again, I have no formal training in such matters, so again, I’m probably talking shit.  Again.


Speaking of Intune.  I’ve been spending more time with it this past week, along with Azure AD, and AzureADPreview powershell module.  I’ve always like the concept of what Intune and EMS are aimed at. The mechanics are still frustrating to me however.  There are plenty of design quirks that drive me batshit crazy.  Like devices / all devices vs. Azure AD devices, and the differences in how provisioning an app for iOS or Android and Windows, from the Windows Store no less.  As Ricky Bobby would say, “it’s mind-bottling”.

Then again, I’m not at all a fan of the “blade” UI paradigm.  The Blade model is (in my humble, semi-professional, almost coherent opinion) marginally efficient for direct touchscreen use, but for mouse and keyboard it blows chunks of post-Chipotle residuals.  I’m sure that will infuriate some of you.  But that’s just how I feel.  Drop-down menus, panels, heck, even ribbons, are more efficient in terms of hand and finger interaction (mouse, touchpad) for operations involving closely related tasks (settings, options, etc.)  Ask yourself if moving ConfigMgr to a blade UI would make it better?  Or Office?  If you think so, try switching to another brand of model glue.

Back to Intune.  I would really look forward to seeing it mature.  Especially in areas like agent vs. agentless device management (it’s very confusing right now, and the differences are weird), AutoPilot, Redeployment/Reset, and expanding the features for deploying applications, remote management (TeamViewer, etc.), and GPO-to-MDM migration.  I’m thinking Windows desktops and laptops of course (if you hadn’t already figured that out).  Phones are great, but nobody, who isn’t masochistic, is going to write a major app using their phone most of the time.  Auto-correct and latent-rich touch screen typing, would cause most PowerShell, C# or Ruby code writers to massage their head with a running chainsaw.

I think I digressed a bit.  sorry about that.

Other Stuff

I’ve spent some after-hours time keeping my brain occupied with scripting and app-dev projects.  I’ve been doing Windows 10, Windows Server 2016, MDT and SCCM lab builds and demos for months, along with real implementation projects, and starting to burn out on it all.  I needed a break, so I’ve managed to get a few things done and few in the pipeline:

I ran across a couple of (seem to be) abandoned Git projects focused on DSC for building ConfigMgr sites, but none of them appear to be factored into a template construct.  Meaning?  That they’re still built on specific parameters, or require extensive customization for various roles, configurations, environments.  I’m still poking at them and forked one to see what I can make it do.  In the meantime, I’m moving ahead with CM_BUILD and CM_SITECONFIG being merged into a new CMBuild PowerShell module.  So far so good.  And when that’s done, I’ll go back to see what I can in that regard with DSC and applying that towards Azure VM extensions.

I’ve come to realize that there’s 4 basic types of southern dialect in America:  Fast, Slow, Twangy and Crooked Jaw.  Think about it, and you’ll see that’s true.

The shortest distance between two points is often the most expensive.

If you never fail, you’re not trying hard enough.

If you fail most of the time, you’re probably in the wrong career path.

I’m on travel next week.  Expect more of the same stupid tweets about mundane stuff.  If you tire of me, unfollow me.  I don’t mind.  It’s just Twitter after all.  I will do my best to keep my camera ready for anything interesting.  I need to watch some air crash documentaries now, to get my mind relaxed for tomorrow.


Pardon the headline and semi-questionable graphic, but it’s all I had to work with on short notice.

As a result of way too much caffeine, tempered with a sudden burst of alcohol and intense, yet clueless conversation with a colleague, the following hair-brained idea sprang up. This required immediate action, because, stupid ideas have to be enacted quickly in order to produce rapid failures and immediate lessons-learned…

Idea: What if you could manage remote, non-domain-joined, Windows 10 computers from a web page control mechanism, for “free”, where the local user has NO local admin rights, to do things like run scripts, deploy or remove applications, etc.?

What if? Aye?

So, Chocolatey came to mind. Partly because I was eating something with chocolate in it, but mostly because I love the Chocolatey PowerShell packaging paradigm potential, and that’s a heavy string of “P”‘s in one sentence.  Anyhow, it felt like one of those sudden Raspberry Pi project urges that I had to get out of my system, so I could move on to more important things, like figuring out what to eat.


  1. The machine would need to be configured at least once by someone with local admin rights.
  2. The machine would need to be connected to the Internet in order to receive updated instructions
  3. The admin needs a little knowledge of technical things, like proper coffee consumption, shit-talking and locating clean restrooms

Outline of Stupid Idea

  1. Drop the FudgePack script into a folder on the device (e.g. C:\ProgramData\FudgePack, file is Invoke-FudgePack.ps1)
  2. Create a Scheduled Task to run under the local NT Authority\SYSTEM account
    1. Task should only run if a network connection is active
    2. Task should only run as often as you would need for immediacy
    3. User (device owner) should be able to invoke Task interactively if needed.
  3. Host the control data somewhere on the Internet where the script can access it

Procedure for Stupid Idea

  1. Here’s the FudgePack app control XML file.  Make a copy and edit to suit your needs.
  2. Here’s the FudgePack PowerShell script.  Douse it in gasoline and set on fire if you want.
  3. Here’s an example Scheduled Task job file to edit, import, point at, and laugh.

Setting up and Testing the Stupid Idea

  1. Copy the appcontrol.xml file somewhere accessible to the device you wish to test it on (local drive, UNC share on the network, web location like GitHub, etc.)
  2. Edit the appcontrol.xml file to suit your needs (devicename, list of Chocolatey packages, runtime date/time values, etc.)
  3. Invoke the script under the SYSTEM account context (you can use PsExec.exe or a Scheduled Task to do this)
  4. Once you get it working as desired, create a scheduled task to run as often as you like
  5. Send me a box filled with cash – ok, just kidding.  but seriously, if you want to, that’s ok too.

More Stupid Caveats

  1. It’s quite possible in this day and age, that someone else has done this, and likely done a better job of it than I have.  That’s okay too.  I searched around and didn’t find anything like this, but my search abilities could quite possibly suck.  So, if someone else has already posted an idea identical to this, I will gladly set this aside to try theirs.  After all, it’s about solving a problem, not wasting a sunny, beautiful Saturday behind a keyboard.


Short (But True) Stories – Beer Cup

I was cleaning up old hard drives and found a “diary” of sorts and it reminded me of a bunch of stories I’ve shared with people around me, but never online. Anyhow, this hasn’t been a good week for me, and I need something to get my mind off of stupid crap and bad news, so here’s a bit of therapy. I hope you enjoy!

In 1984, I had been playing drums in a local rock band in Hampton, Virginia.  I had a day job, but the music gig was fun and I was earning enough for gas, food, and drum sticks, while my day job paid for the other important things. Our band was asked to play at a squadron picnic at the local Air Force base. Two of the band members, the singer and bassist, were active-duty at the base, so they brought a bigger crowd than we usually had.  There was plenty of food, beer and families with kids, the weather was fantastic and it was a lot of fun.

After our second of three sets, we took a break and were standing around talking and kidding around. Then one friend of ours, playfully bumped the bass player, and knowing it was in fun, set his Dixie cup of beer down and went after the other guy to wrestle. After a few minutes of tussling around, they got back up, laughing, and our bassist went back to his beer and we continued kidding around.

A few minutes later, he started turning blue in the face and couldn’t talk. We thought he was pranking us, as he often did. Then he slowly went down on the ground, rolled over on his back, and started making gurgling sounds. One of the guys bumped his arm with his foot, saying something like “come on, man, that’s not funny.” But he looked even worse.

Suddenly one of the guys rolled him over and patted him on his back really hard, thinking he may have choked on something. After a few hard slaps on his back, he coughed up a large bumble bee. It had landed in his beer cup while he was play-wrestling, and he swallowed it, where it apparently stung the back of his throat.

Being that we were in the middle of a military base, we were lucky to get EMT help fast, and after a few hours in the emergency room, he was allowed to go home.

Good times.

I Finally Got a Nap after MS Ignite 2017

Microsoft Ignite 2017.  Orlando Florida.  September 2017

It’s been a week indeed.  This post might be humorous, and it might not be.  My brain is still re-assembling after a busy week and finally getting some much-needed sleep.  This is a rambling post, so I won’t blame you for skipping it (TL/DR), but if you’re ready, here goes…







The Travel

I flew into Orlando on Sunday.  As I left, my cat gave me the finger and my dog took a dump on the floor near my suitcase, which is how she lets me know she’ll miss me.  All good.  My air travel frequency had died down since July, but I was happily surprised that it was one of the first flights in a while without a single screw-up.  In fact, we arrived ten minutes ahead of schedule.  I stayed at the Renaissance Hotel, which was very very nice, and the staff couldn’t have been more nice.  The flight back home was uneventful as well, and I arrived at midnight to a tiny little airport with my wife waiting in the car outside.

The Techy Stuff

There was a lot to absorb this year at Ignite.  There were plenty of announcements, rumors, corrected rumors, re-corrected rumors, rumors about corrected rumors, and some incredible events that played out, which I had no idea would happen.

There was plenty of discussion about Configuration Manager, the new Intune/EMS capabilities, and co-management of devices.  There were also quite a few sessions and discussions around Windows AutoPilotWindows AutoPilot, and Automatic Redeployment, as well as Tenant-Locking.  There was plenty going on about Azure Cloud Shell (PowerShell), SQL Server 2017 for Linux, updates to Azure Automation, updates to Intune and EMS, Office 365, SharePoint, a new infrastructure platform for Skype for Business, and the big news about Teams moving into a central role.

OVERALL: The sessions I attended were all very well done.  Even with the occasional glitches, everyone recovered quickly and kept moving without a hiccup.  The audiences seemed to be on board with the topics, content and demos as well.

Some interactions that stuck in my mind:

  • Leaving the first AutoPilot session to speak with the Lenovo folks at their expo booth, and the “device management guru” said “No. We’re not committed to AutoPilot, but we are evaluating the benefits and potential.” Then the next day, after session 2 I stopped back for a follow-up and he said “Oh, yeah, we’re in.”  Must have got a delayed memo.
  • One training services vendor rep at the expo kept repeating “we’re not the Toyota of training, we’re the gold-plated Lexus of training.” I immediately went into blank stare mode.
  • I had a great conversation with the SQL Server 2017 folks about the possibility of someday, somewhere, somehow, that we might see support for automating Maintenance Plans via PowerShell.  Not yet, it seems.  But there are ways around it with duct tape and chewing gum.
  • Nice discussion with the Fujitsu folks about their liquid-cooled (immersed) server rack.  The best part was the incredible language barrier.  Note to this vendor, smart as they may be, try to add some staff that speak the native language of the conference location, wherever that may be.  Example:
    • Me: “Have you calculated the return rate to break-even point between air-cooled and liquid cooled?
    • Them: “Yes, it is liquid.”
    • Me: “How much power does the coolant pump draw compared with fans?
    • Them: “Yes, it is liquid.
    • Takeaway:  Cleaner components due to no air-flow dust accumulation, and lower power consumption per time-unit compared with air-cooling fans.  The rack itself is smaller due to not having air-flow channels or fans.  The trade-offs include increased purchase cost and weight, as well as added space for the pump unit.
  • A rambling Twitter thread with David James about where the line between “big” and “small” customer device-management environments might exist, and the ramifications of how best to manage devices in each realm.  More on that another time/post.
  • The “deep dive” sessions on Windows Server 2016 network services changes, BranchCache/PeerCaching by Andreas Hammarskjold, and Windows Deployment and Servicing by Ami Casto, Johan ArwidmarkMikael Nystrom, and Michael Niehaus, were all indeed “deep”, and well-worth pushing the brain as hard as possible to keep up, let alone absorb the information fire hose.  If you watch nothing else from Ignite, at least check these sessions out.
  • I didn’t make it to any Mark Russinovich sessions, but I did catch a few by Don Jones and  Jeffrey Snover.
  • I missed a few sessions I really wanted to attend, due to conflicts with other sessions, nagging work-related phone calls, emails, and Teams chatting, etc.  Such as two PowerShell sessions by Stephen Owen.  But I was fortunate and honored to meet him in person as well as his wonderful wife, before the week was over.  So I can’t complain.
  • Other sessions I attended in Windows Servicing, Azure, Office 365 (Microsoft 365 now), SharePoint, Teams, PowerBI, Containers, and PowerShell were all very good.  I can’t wait for everything to get posted for viewing online.

The Semi-Techy Stuff

My daytime brain power was really really off this year.  After weeks of finally getting settled into a consistent exercise and sleep routine, even with work travel, I suffered a setback that week.  I was not an interesting person to converse with during the day.  At night I felt fairly normal, or abnormally normal.  Or normally abnormal.  Eh.

Until the closing Friday, I averaged maybe 3 hours of sleep each night.  The conference center was kept at a nice and cozy 48 degrees F.  And the combination of insufficient sleep, forgetting to pack long pants and long-sleeve shirts, an unbalanced diet, inconsistent caffeine and hydration intake, and random work-related emails, along with frequent offensive messages from insane coworkers and former coworkers, left me in a zombie state.  At least I didn’t do this.

Quite a few people approached me, all very friendly, and I tried my best to be friendly and talkative, but my brain kept saying inside, “Hey dumb-ass, you know how you didn’t go to bed until 3am and then got up at 6am?  Yeah, I’m not doing that shit anymore.  Let’s find a nice hard surface to make you do a face-plant.”


I watched the new Jerry Seinfeld show on Netflix.  At one point he commented on being able to speak to a group, but not an individual.  That’s exactly how I felt that week.  It was very surreal.

Some years ago, I used to do a fair amount of public-ish speaking. I say public-ish because it was mostly to captive audiences (corporatey stuff). I did speak at one CAD vendor mini-conference back in 1998, to a room of about 500, and it was a blast. If I have an agenda, I can ramble to a crowd, but ad lib not so much.  Anyhow, I got a case of decent wine, and a Chinese-made Swiss army knife as a token of appreciation.  Not sure what happened to the knife.

I have found, through quasi semi pseudo scientific research, that it’s not so much how MUCH sleep I get, but WHEN I get that sleep.  Even a shifting of sleep-wake periods by a half-hour can throw my entire pea-sized brain into a woodchipper.  My normal sleep cycle is 2 A.M. to 9 A.M. (my company and most of my customers are in the Pacific time zone, but I live in Eastern time zone, so it makes my neighbors really curious).  During the conference my sleep cycle shifted to 3 A.M. to 7:30 A.M., and yes, my math also suffered.


After each day I would try to get a power nap in.  Usually, I’m great at power naps. My dad taught me the trick and it’s always worked.  However, it only works when people don’t call your phone just when you get your heart rate down.

The Personal Stuff

Some of the other interesting moments…

  • Getting to meet amazing people like Stephen Owen, Ami Casto, Johan Arwidmark, Mikael Nystrom, Andreas Hammarskjold, Maurice Daly, and Jordan Benzing
  • A conversation with a valet at the hotel.  Just a cool exchange of funny stuff and both of us went our separate ways in a great mood.
  • A two hour late-night conversation with George, a colleague who shares many of the same life experiences as I:  marriage, dysfunctional families, cancer, brain tumors, the effects of sleep and diet, religion, politics, work stuff, and so on.  I live in an exceptionally red area of a red state, so the opportunities to have a rather unbiased discussion are few.  Anyhow, it was fantastic.

The Random Stuff

  • Compared with Ignite 2016, I had nothing as unusual or random during the after-hours time this year.
  • I was also reminded of something a homeless guy said to me at a conference in Vegas, back in my Autodesk days:  He patted my arm when I was standing on a corner during a lunch break, and when I turned he said “you might be a nobody going nowhere, but it’s getting there that matters.  Don’t forget to pay attention to getting there.”  Then he tried to sell me a plastic water bottle for a dollar.  But it was the thought that counts.

Final Thoughts

  • I was very much caught off-guard by people wanting to meet me at the conference this year.  I wasn’t expecting that at all, which some found to be surprising.  While I appreciate the attention, I wasn’t ready for it either.  So, I hope that if you did run into me that you allow me to do better next time.  If there is a next time.
  • I heard quite often that people think I’m some sort of “weirdness-magnet”; that I somehow attract unusual events, but I don’t think that’s true.  I suspect that I just notice small things more often than most others do.  Human and social idiosyncrasies.  For example, standing in a grocery store checkout line, waiting in a doctor’s office, or riding a bus.  I typically stop to talk with people who are normally ignored in our society: The people who give directions at the conferences, store clerks, bus drivers, hotel staff, airline staff, TSA agents (well, sometimes), police officers, homeless people, random people, Uber and Lyft drivers; anyone who can’t run fast enough to escape my death ray of chatty-ness.  The stuff that most people don’t see while staring at their phones.  Basically: I’m really not that special.

And now I have to re-bond with my dog.  She’s mad at me again.