business, humor, Technology

2001 vs 2021 (aka 2020 CU1)


2001

IT planning Meeting: / Project = Document Management

Teams present: IT Architect, PM, InfoSec, Network, Storage, Accounts, Licensing, Customer stakeholders, Customer stakeholder stakeholders, Stakeholders for other stakeholders, Vendor reps handing out business cards and shaking hands, all packed in one conference room.

Preliminary: Storage and Network teams are blaming InfoSec for system issues. InfoSec is blaming Licensing for holding up a PO. Licensing blames the CFO. PM asks them to keep it down.

Vendor: “(blah blah blah blah blah blah) some pointing and hand gestures learned from a sales book.

IT PM:Thank you for the introduction, Bob.”

Vendor: “Uhhh, it’s Doug, actually.”

IT PM: (turns to stakeholders) “So, what features do you need from Electronic Document Management?

Customer: “What does it do?

IT Architect: (talks for 30 minutes, reads directly from PowerPoint slides, attendees coughing, staring at Blackberry phones, texting jokes about TV sitcom episode from previous night, sounds of thumbs clicking on physical keypad, spoons clanking against coffee cups) … “Any questions?

Customer: “We need all of it.

General IT takeaway: (old-timers: dread. younger folks: excitement)

2021

IT Planning Meeting / Project = Cloud Security

Teams present: Cloud Architect, PM, InfoSec, Cloud Networking, Cloud Identity, Licensing, Customer stakeholders, Customer stakeholder stakeholders, Stakeholders for other stakeholders, Vendor reps, everyone on a Teams call.

Preliminary: Azure/AWS/GCS and M365 teams are blaming InfoSec for system issues. InfoSec is blaming Licensing for holding up a PO. PM asks them to keep it down.

Vendor: “(blah blah blah blah blah blah) some more PowerPoint slides and a QR code.

IT PM: “Thanks for introduction, Juan.”

Vendor: “Uhhh, it’s Carlos, actually.”

IT PM: (turns to stakeholders) “So, what features do you need from Cloud Security?

Customer: “What does it do?

Cloud Architect: (talks for 30 minutes, reads directly from PowerPoint slides, attendees not on mute add background sounds of cats, dogs, birds, car horns, kitchen pots and pans, messaging about Netflix/Hulu/YouTube/Amazon/HBO show from previous day, crumpling fast food bags, spoons clanking against coffee cups) someone keeps taking a heavy drag on their vape in front of the mic … “Any questions?

Customer: “We need all of it.

General IT takeaway: (old-timers: dread. younger folks: excitement)

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