True story.

In December of 2007, the company I was working for asked me to attend a 5-day training course on Softgrid, which was in the midst of being rebranded as App-V. It would be in Redmond,  Washington on the Microsoft campus. Having just finished training on Thinstall (soon to become ThinApp), and considering the free air fare, food, hotel and chance to see the campus for my first (and only)  time, I said “yes!”

It was the week before Christmas. The campus was pretty quiet. Our class was one of a handful of people in building 26 that week, as most had taken vacation or whatnot, it seemed. It rained the entire week, day and night. Daylight hours were much shorter than back home.

We put in long hours. Because what else would we do? The daylight was short, and weather sucked so shift everything into brain soaking time.

During one break, most of the class members went to a cafeteria, as usual, while I chose to deal with a sinister breakfast in the nearest restroom.

I found the restroom spacious and quiet. Perfect. Nature proceeded as planned and all was good so far.

And then I reached for the tissue roll.

As I peeled back the first square and began to unravel more, the spindle popped out of the bracket, and the roll dropped and rolled across the entire floor.  It stopped when it hit the wall at the opposite wall (lengthwise, not between the stall and facing wall).

Now came the moment of truth. Make a bold dash out of Fort stall and attempt to make an extraction back to base, or, salvage as many squares within the scope of not having touched the floor, and make the best of it?

Decision time. I could hear Regis Philbin asking “is that your final answer!?”

Counting only a few clean squares, I chose option 1. Dont ask. But just as I was about to make the run, someone entered.

I froze. Then I heard someone start to chuckle. Then long silence.

IT reminded me of the scene in Pulp Fiction where Jules is about to unload on the kid from Will & Grace, while the other kid,  with the “cannon”,  listened from the other room. I was that other kid, only I didn’t have a cannon. Anyhow…

“You need some assistance in there? ”

At first, being from Virginia, I thought he meant was I looking for someone to enter the stall with me. Yes, we are that backwards here. I said” uhhhh, well, ummm, so… ”

“No worries man. It does that all the time. It needs to be fixed. Here you go.”

He tore off the part that unraveled and handed the roll over the top.

All was good.

The end.


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