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Over the past several years, I’ve spewed forth some random “rules” about IT.  Most of them hold water.  Some of them may not.  I’ve seen all of them in action plenty of times

  1. Including religion, wars, politics & zombie attacks, there is no single force more powerful in the IT world than a budget.
  2. Humans are the worst thing to ever happen to technology.
  3. The two-of-three rule ALWAYS applies to IT.  Good. Fast. or Cheap.  You can only have two at a time.
  4. Your best job ever is the one you’re about to start.  The worst was the one you’re about to leave.  Repeat.
  5. The failure of a software product to achieve maximum utility is directly proportional to the amount of training required to use it.
  6. Most IT rules posted on social media are narcissistic bs.
  7. If it takes longer to explain how to use it than it does to use it, it needs more work.
  8. The best option does not equal the only option.
  9. If the CTO or CIO ever uses the phrase “Excel database”, run!
  10. Nothing is really free.
  11. There is never enough coffee.
  12. You can tell a lot about how a company values their employees by looking at their restrooms.
  13. Storage demand increases with storage capacity.
  14. If the choice comes down to Access or SQL, and you choose Access, find a new career.
  15. There is no off-the-shelf service ticketing system that will fit perfectly for an organization unless they’ve been in business less than 5 days.
  16. Most major IT failures can be traced back to a decision made with the wrong people in the room.
  17. If email is not cutting it, pick up the phone.
  18. Every day at a conference is a Friday. Which means every morning after is a Monday
  19. As soon as it is written, it is outdated.
  20. It will work perfectly, until the big presentation.
  21. Everyone fails in IT.  Some are just better at covering up their mistakes.
  22. The more expensive the home lab, the cheaper the social life.
  23. All software is in beta.
  24. The more you worry about breaking something, the more likely you will break it.
  25. The less you worry about breaking something, the more likely you will break it.
  26. If you can’t describe it to a 90 year old person, it probably needs refinement.
  27. Most meetings are a complete waste of time.
  28. There’s always a better way to do it.
  29. Never bring a hardware guy to a software fight.
  30. It’s not what you know, or who you know. It’s how much what you know is needed by who you know.
  31. All technology sucks.  That’s why they make upgrades.
  32. People read blogs mostly when having sex is not an option.
  33. Every acronym has at least two unrelated meanings.
  34. Rule 28 is never wrong.
  35. Never confuse acquaintances with friends.
  36. The job of an IT professional is to automate themselves out of a job.
  37. Project Managers are necessary to keep progress down to an acceptable rate.
  38. Salaried + Mobile device = 24/7 work availability.
  39. Very often “impossible” and “inevitable” can be interchanged.  For good and bad.
  40. Never upgrade to an outdated version.
  41. Anyone who insists one programming language is “best”, hasn’t worked with enough languages.
  42. The ONLY proper goal for ANY upgrade is to make things better AND simpler.  If it’s not both, it’s not an upgrade.
  43. Don’t ask for help with a problem until you’ve reviewed the logs.
  44. Your project is probably not going to cure cancer.
  45. When the CEO says “You have nothing to worry about.” it means they’re busy preparing for the layoffs.
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