If your company has an HR database of some sort, you can build a nice little process to update the Active Directory user accounts automatically, whenever HR makes a change. This can be done very easily using PowerShell or VBScript code available at your friendly neighborhood Internet, and a few teaspoons of WhoopAss. The recipe is further down…
- New hires
- Name changes
- Sex changes
- Forklift Accidents (who knows?)
- A Computer with a keyboard and a monitor
- A Text Editor
- Fingers (if you don’t have any, chop off someone else’s)
- Sugary snacks
- The DSN for the HR database (if they won’t give it to you, blackmail one of their staff)
- Task Scheduler (comes with Windows. Batteries not included)
- PowerShell code (Google or Bing for terms shown below)
- Mix script code, DSN and Text Editor thoroughly with caffeine, sugar snacks and lots of smack talking.
- Pour into a 3 x 5 test environment, be sure to grease the pan first.
- Bake in the test lab oven at 24×7 degrees for a few days.
- Serve with a cup of coffee, an updated resume and your resignation letter, because now you can find a better paying job elsewhere.
- Populate all the AD user account fields, like Department, Manager, and Job Title. These can easily drive Visio organization chart wizards and make you look like a real application development sex god!
- Whenever a coworker approaches your desk, be sure to smack keys extra loud and say things like “damn these microprocessor threads!”
- Never drink cold coffee. Cold coffee is for losers. Winners drink coffee heated to precisely 4,000 degrees Fahrenheit and use welding gloves to grab the cup.
Helpful Search Terms
- “powershell query database”
- “powershell update AD user account”
- “powershell task scheduler”
- “vacation drinking naked”
- “winning lottery numbers”