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(Note: I don’t own a gun.  I don’t consider myself on either side of the gun rights/gun control debate.  I simply don’t care.  I’ll leave that argument to the experts like you.  Meanwhile, in Washington DC…).  Enjoy.

Why the Federal Gub-mint Won’t Even Try to Take Yer Gunz…

5. They can’t even process illegal aliens in a timely manner.  And don’t even ask about Gitmo.

4. It would create a battle between the FBI, ATF, DEA, DoD, Treasury, Secret Service, the Navy, Army, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard… just to determine who’s job and jurisdiction it really belongs to. And after they decided, it would go to court to settle objections and by that time, firearms would be replaced by plasma BFG rifles with neuro-molecular trans-plasma-phase-shifting wormhole centrifuge canon attachments.  And we’d have flying skateboards by then too.

3. Republicans would outsource the job to private contractors who’s business is having guns.  Democrats would assign it to the wrong agency and it would take years to figure out where the money went.  Either way, the task would be lost in a maze of red tape.

2. They already have cooler guns.

1.  El Chapo would pay a higher rate to buy them back on the black market.  Imagine the ATF agent making $34k/year turning down $10k per automatic rifle, especially when his wife and kids are duct-taped to a chair surrounded by hooded bad guys and Liam Neeson is nowhere to be found?

Bonus:  Name ONE department that works efficiently enough to begin such a task.

Drops the mic.  Arms raised.  Staggers off backstage.  Trips over cord and smashes face into door.

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