Headlines from around the planet : November 10, 2034
Middle East still in turmoil. Suicide attacking cats and dogs are growing concern. Probability of achieving a lasting peace estimated to somewhere around winning the PowerBall lottery ten times in a row. In related news: Walmart wins contract to manage visitation lines at Temple Mount/Al Aqsa Mosque/Sam’s Club. Coffee bar coming soon.
Asteroid heading towards earth found to be caused by Obamacare.
9 of every 10 americans still not sure what Obamacare is, or was.
President Mitch McConnell turns 183 today. John Boehner turns 181.
Archeologists uncover what may be an actual American-made part to some sort of machine. Item sent to China for further testing.
Russia chides US for interfering in Alaskan separatist movement.
Ghost of Johnny Cash still wondering what happened to country music.
Washington Crackers (formerly Redskins) win first playoff berth in twenty years. Quarterback RG XVII announces retirement plans.
Remembering lost artifacts: movie theaters, outdoor playtime and phone booths.