the-time-machine-1960-rod-taylorOnce upon a time, in the ancient land of Techtopia, there lived a meager engineer by the name of Dave.  It was the year 2025, when the great time-machine wars broke out, and adversaries traded counterattacks by going further and further back in time to undo what their adversary had undone before they could undo the undone things.  It was a confusing time indeed.

Among the confused peoples, Dave was relatively unknown, albeit noisy and clanging about over meaningless things.  And yet, day by day, the humble Dave toiled with the gadgets of Techtopia, connecting, disconnecting, configuring and re-configuring, until the time had come when all would celebrate the great feast of what was then called, a weekend.

After years and years of toiling over such mechanical intricacies, Dave finally arrived at what was then called a moment of realization.  That realization led him to commandeer and unmanned time machine and dial it back to the 1990’s, to a land long thought to be the cradle of all things technological: a magical place called Silicon Valley.  He distracted the nearby guards by pointing to video screens and proclaiming that the 80 year-old Kim Kardashian was posing nude, for the 185th time in her life.  While they looked aside, Dave hopped into the capsule, closed the door, and dialed it back to 1996.

The ride was harsh.  Marked by bumpiness and blinding lights, strange sounds and an indescribably odor that filled the capsule.  It was later said to be the results of something called a Taco Bell, but regardless, the ride finally ended in a peaceful field of daisies and something called “cows”, which had long since become extinct.  He threw open the door, leaped out and began his quest for his purpose of the journey.

Traversing over long fields, dangerously congested highways with “cars” that actually rolled on wheels, and emitted yet more strange odors and noises; he found his way to a house in a small subdivision.  Confirming the address on his torn folded paper, he rang the door bell.  “Ding! Dong!”.  To which a dog barked and sounds of someone approaching could be heard.

Answering the door, the occupant said, “Hello?

Hi. My name is Dave.  I understand you’re having a party with some longtime colleagues in the tech industry?

Why, yes.  Yes I am.  All of the folks are here.

The ones that invented USB, AGP, Serial Ports, LPT connectors, DVI and all that stuff?

Yes.  Ummm.  What is this about.”

I came along way to give you this...” handing the man a paper bag. The man opened it and a deadly, green gas, bellowed from the bag, probably from the Taco Bell visit, and turned all of them into frogs.  Turning to head back towards the abandoned time capsule, he said to himself, “That’s for inventing all those stupid plugs that only worked in one direction.

The End.


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